There may be little writing, or rather, a finished product of my written works. And there may be a lack of online presence, however, much has been done that required my immediate attention and it feels good for it all to be complete.
For the last several years of my Mother's life one of her many unfulfilled goals was to clean up her house and sell it. My siblings and I have now done that.
I spent a whole week of what felt like physical therapy in cleaning out her house. It was not only great exercise, but therapeutic in cleaning out a house (to be sold as a fixer upper while the bare bones of the house is excellent) that had many dark memories of abuses done against my Mother and the verbal and emotional abuses that us, her children, suffered. I would sometimes stand a few feet from the giant garbage bin and throw things as hard as I could in, especially if it was glass or something I knew could definitely smash in there; the sound made me feel good each time. My siblings found it to be the same. It was good for me on all levels: emotionally, mentally, physically and even spiritually. It was like a cleanse from the inside out.
In each of our own lives amongst my family and friends it seems a deep cleansing is taking place. Something in the air causing it maybe? Its like a spring cleaning for our bodies, as well as our environments, particularly where we live; everything from our possessions to those nasty files and paperwork all of us had lying around. I know for me it feels like a great weight has been lifted. Wow!
Also, keeping the ties that bind has been of great importance. I have fought for the closeness to my extended family where others have not for a very long time now (too long). In some cases it was because certain members of my family were too busy dwelling on past hurts to try and heal the wounds over the years. As many of us out there know who have had to deal with this kind of thing, situations like these just fester and worsen all the time; and that definitely was the case with my family let me tell you. Rather than working at forgiveness and strengthen the weakened bonds they often would prefer to stew in their anger. It has slowly fixed itself, and I have worked hard to lead by example the importance of family and togetherness. Now that it is better, I am going to hang onto this so and continue to work hard so that these disconnects stop occurring. Life is too short. (That could be a whole other essay onto itself, but I don't wish to at this time).
Though this road (particularly this past year) has had my loved ones and I suffering many hardships, there has been many moments, both small and big, that have made it so worth it. They even seem to give me just enough rest, relaxation, and moments of pure joy that it has refreshed me to march on.
Something small, and may sound silly was one night we were all staying the night at my Grandmother's and I took the couch. Grandma got me to blankets and tucked me in. Yes, I am a grown woman and my Grandmother tucked me into bed. I loved it.
There has been many more moments for my sisters and I to relax together and when we do it has been filled with laughing, crying, reminiscing, talking of our goals in life. It feels amazing!
My Bestie and I hung out yesterday and went adventuring around places in the city we live in that we had never been to before. Our day was filled with laughter, teasing each other, great food, refreshing beverages, picture taking and just feeling blessed to be alive.
~Ange
Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.
No comments:
Post a Comment